So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
