tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
