Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
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