the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I booty called her while she was in labor.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
