how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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