I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Randomize
