when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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