Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
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