good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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