i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
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