Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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