Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Less talking, more tequila
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
