Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Randomize
