all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
