Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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