oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
