Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Randomize
