It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize