The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
