i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
But I just had this pork p�t�. It was dick grabbing.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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