Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
