Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
