There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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