omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Randomize
