he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize