Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
