He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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