so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Randomize
