I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I could have mohawked her pubes.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
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