i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
