Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
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