I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
