Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
