either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
