You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
