i will never coherently bang her
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
