I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
