One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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