Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
