Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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