My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I have surprise drugs for everyone
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
