Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
