respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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