Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
