break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
