So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
