btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
party gras won. party gras always wins.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Randomize
