We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
