lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
