I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
