Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Why is there bacon in the couch?
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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