Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
