What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
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