She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Randomize
